Hanxiety: A Body, Mind, Spirit Explanation
During my last year as a social drinker (I’m alcohol-free since 2017, btw), I started experiencing dreadful bouts of hanxiety no matter how much or little I drank.
Hanxiety - a cute term for the existential dread many experience after a night of drinking - started to get very real for me in my late 20s and early 30s. Even after the nights when I managed to have only a drink or two, I woke up with a sense that something had gone terribly wrong. I’d wake up feeling lethargic, unmotivated, and inexplicably helpless and lonely.
Of course, I tried all the hip hacks to thwart my hanxiety…charcoal pills, electrolytes, hair of the dog…you name it. But nothing seemed to work. Soon, any drinking at all left me feeling lackluster the day (or even days) after a night on the town.
Now, with over six years alcohol-free and armed with five years as a coach and expert in the alcohol-free space, I know that hanxiety is not something to beat, but something to listen to. Although I’m not a medical doctor or licensed health professional, I’ve become familiar with some of the specific reasons drinkers (specifically those who have become sober curious) tend to experience hanxiety. Read on to learn more.
Physical
Alcohol, even in small amounts, wreaks havoc on your physical body. In recent years, we’ve learned that alcohol has absolutely zero health benefits and that drinking detracts from your body’s ability to perform optimally.
Further, most hacks to prevent and cure hangovers are hopeful at best as your body requires so much energy to process the alcohol (a poison) that it is unable to make proper use of most minerals, vitamins and nutrients you might use in tandem with alcohol.
For a more academic perspective, I recommend you listen to this episode of The Huberman Lab Podcast or this episode of This Podcast Will Kill You.
Mental
Point blank: Alcohol is a depressant and neurotoxin. Ew. It may feel like it temporarily dulls the discomfort of mental pain, but you know as well as I do that it does not solve your problems. More likely, your mental anguish is amplified the day after drinking and you’re worse off solving any problems in your hungover state.
Mental hangovers can be tremendously debilitating - particularly for capable, intelligent individuals who know on some level that they have what it takes to get them over most of life’s hurdles. When drinking to solve or avoid mental struggles, you inadvertently send your brain a message that you don’t feel competent to solve the problem at hand. This admission of defeat also slowly diminishes your sense of self-esteem…which is why some hangovers can feel mentally brutal.
Spiritual
You might be expecting some lecture on how alcohol is sinful, bad, or wrong. Keep waiting because this is not a piece on the evils of alcohol. Rather, this is a message about spiritual awakenings and how alcohol (often called “spirits”) can interfere with your own “waking up” process.
Most of my clients and students find their way to me because they are in the midst of a spiritual awakening and have - as a result - become curious about sobriety. Most have not put the two urges together fully before finding my work.
Spiritual awakenings and sober curiosity are often intertwined…and this can be a tremendous source of the pains experienced with hanxiety. Here’s why: Although you are always connected to Spirit (or God, or a Higher Power, or The Universe), drinking alcohol muffles that connection. For someone in the midst of a spiritual awakening, consuming alcohol - in any quantity - can become uncomfortable because the inner urge to connect with spirit begins to override the urge to disconnect using alcohol.
One way our inner guidance system can get our attention is by making drinking and recovering from drinking so unbearable we no longer have the desire to participate in the experience. Here are some signs to look for:
Hangovers regardless of how little you drank or what prevention techniques you used
Boredom over boozy social events that feel repetitive and superficial
A sense of existential dread or extreme emotional dis-ease the day (or days) after drinking
A sudden desire to drink less or not at all even though you’ve built important parts of your identity around drinking.
Constant longing for a more magical life. Often finding yourself wondering “is this all there is?”
If you’ve experienced any of the above, it might be that you are in the beginning stages of a spiritual awakening and your inner guide is actually using hanxiety to nudge you towards a change in your relationship with alcohol. Woohoo, I’m so excited for you…I even created something super special (and free!) for you. It’s a 5-day video series called Awakened without Alcohol where I guide you through what you need to know about awakening to a spiritual connection of your own understanding and how alcohol can keep you stuck. If you’d like to enroll, just go here.