4 Tips To Navigate The Holidays Alcohol-Free
If you’re going into one of your first holiday seasons with the intention to abstain from alcohol, it’s likely that you’re feeling the tiniest bit wobbly about the whole thing.
And understandably so. The holiday season is notoriously the most indulgent season of the year, with plenty of pressures, opportunities, and excuses to imbibe.
Whether it’s the allure of a “special occasion”, the overwhelm of a packed social calendar, or the stress of navigating family dynamics turning to the consummate cureall we know as alcohol can be very tempting.
I used to lean into this narrative and was the first to turn to a glass of “holiday cheer” as I cutely called it, to manage the stress and chaos of the festive season. I’m now approaching my eighth alcohol-free holiday season and I’ve helped hundreds of sober curious women stay sober through the holidays and beyond.
Here are the four simple steps I’d have you take if you were feeling nervous about navigating the holidays alcohol-free.
1. Commit to yourself & make it non-negotiable
So often, the women I work with go into the holidays already giving themselves an “out”. They approach it with language such as “I’m going to try to not drink.”
I hate to be harsh, but this kind of language sets you up for failure. It also sends a subtle signal to your brain that you don’t believe in yourself. It communicates to your subconscious that you don’t believe you have what it takes to hack it; therefore, you’re just going to try.
Instead, I want to encourage you to make a commitment to yourself that you are not making any exceptions this holiday season. Even if it’s done just as an experiment to see what it’s like. Give yourself this one holiday season without booze and plan to reevaluate afterward.
2. Advocate for yourself
Figure out what you need to make sticking to this commitment easier. Is it a slower social calendar? A secret stash of fun and yummy non-alcoholic drinks? Is it an accountability plan? Clear communication?
It is your responsibility to do what you need to set yourself up for success. As the saying goes, “Fail to prepare and prepare to fail.”
Some simple preparation and self-advocacy steps I’d recommend include:
Establishing personal clarity on what feels like too much this holiday season. If there is something that’s going to compromise the commitment you made to yourself, you have to ask if that event or obligation is really essential or if you can skip it this year (you probably can).
Share your goals with others. Keeping quiet about goals is a huge trap my clients often set for themselves. They chalk it up to not wanting to be a nuisance or not wanting to draw attention to themselves. I want to encourage you to look at this through the lens of empowerment, not shame. You are taking care of yourself and it’s okay to let people know that - this year - self care includes not drinking. Put together a small script that you can use when put on the spot. Make it easier on yourself by notifying hosts or family members about your non-drinking status before an event so that you can ensure there will be something alternative for you to drink, or arrange to bring your own if the host isn’t willing to accommodate you.
Stick to your boundaries. If you feel overwhelmed, wobbly, or bored, you can simply leave early. It’s seriously no big deal.
As you can see, it’s not only important to communicate clearly with others, but also to set and enforce boundaries with yourself if you want to navigate social situations successfully.
3. Update your toolbox
Emotional stressors and triggers are going to happen. If you’ve been in the practice of using alcohol to navigate such stressors and triggers, you’ll need a higher-quality replacement so that you’re not left white-knuckling it through the holidays.
You can research emotional regulation tools for specific stressors you experience or talk it through with your coach or therapist who can recommend techniques that can be helpful.
The most important thing to remember is that none of these tools will seem quite as effective as alcohol in the moment. However, they are much more effective long-term. Remember, if alcohol actually helped you manage social anxiety or stress, the anxiety and stress wouldn’t return (sometimes even worse) once alcohol wore off.
4. Get support
Just because it sounds simple enough to not drink this holiday season, we all know simple does not equal easy.
I recommend you seek out support in the form of a community, mentor, or both! I’ll share some ways below that I could support you, but do remember there are tons of resources out there to help hold you accountable. The most important thing is that you remember that you are the only one responsible for you. You must make a commitment to show up for yourself. When you do, I promise you’ll roll into the new year with a sense of pride and confidence you’ve never had before.
If you’re thinking this all sounds great, but are still wondering exactly how to pull it off, I put together an amazing holiday bundle to help you.
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🎄 Navigate social stressors with ease
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