Exercise: A Letter To Your Inner Child

If you’re like me - and many of my clients - it’s likely you didn’t have precisely the relationship you might have liked with your mother growing up. There may be many parts of your inner child that feel neglected, unloved, unfulfilled, remorseful, or even deeply upset about your relationship with your mother (or father). 

But, since I write for women, and this is Mother’s Day, let’s focus specifically on the relationship you had with your mother. Today, I want to offer you a very special exercise I share with many of my clients who are working to repair their relationship with alcohol, only to find that there is so much more that has contributed to their drinking habits than the presence of alcohol.

While I truly believe that all of our parents did the best they could with the knowledge and resources they had, this sentiment doesn’t matter to a child who is making meaning out of experiences with their initial attachment figure. Yes, I’m sure your parents did have the best of intentions, yet the interpretations of our young mind are what stick with us. These early interpretations are imprinted on our psyche and often dictate how we judge our own worthiness and capability as an adult.

With that in mind, I want to encourage you to complete a very powerful exercise to help you begin to address and heal some of these early childhood imprints that may be holding you back.

Now, if you’ve followed me for long, I think it goes without saying that I prefer for you to complete writing exercises with traditional pen and paper. There is something psychologically clearing about physically forming letters and words with your hand. Buy a journal, and use it.

*Please note that this exercise is not suggested for anyone healing Trauma that might require the support of a mental health professional, but rather for addressing smaller traumas that we tend to ignore or overlook. I always recommend you enlist the support of a mental health professional to process significant life events.

For this exercise, I want you to recall a time in your childhood where you remember feeling lonely, different, unloved, unlovable, etc. This might be a culmination of many events or one event in particular. Perhaps you went to your parent with a problem or grumble and they didn’t respond in just the way you desired and needed in that moment.

Now, I want you to imagine your present-day self in her kindest, most motherly state. Sit in meditation for a moment and imagine your current day self visiting that younger, vulnerable child self. Approach her gently, kneel to look her in the eyes. Touch her shoulder, her face. Offer her a warm heart-to-heart hug.

Next, spend 15-20 (or more if you need) writing a letter to that sweet little girl. Write it as if you are speaking directly to her, sharing all you know to be true as an adult (even if you still struggle to fully embrace it and believe it). Remind her that she is loved and perfect (and whatever else you are called to share with her). Speak to her gently, yet confidently. Hold the space for her sadness, fear, anger, and longing. If it feels good, consider reading the note back to yourself aloud and sitting in meditation again.

///

Speaking to my own inner child is one of the most healing exercises I do, personally. I write to her often and find the practice to be quite healing. Complete this exercise and let me know about your experience. You DM me over on IG anytime; I’d love to hear from you!