Why What You’re Experiencing Is Completely Normal

If you are on a journey to change your relationship with alcohol, I see you and I feel you because I’ve been there too. Although now I’ve made a confident decision that drinking no longer contributes anything to my life, I remember very well my days as a sober curious woman who wished deeply I could have a take-it-or-leave-it relationship with alcohol. I remember wondering if I was the only one silently questioning my relationship with booze and experiencing awful anxiety after I drank. I wondered if people would think I had a problem if I were to quit. I sat paralyzed in indecision for quite some time before making the decision to take a break in January 2017.

During my journey to find freedom from alcohol, I’ve noted that there are four distinct stages you go through when changing your relationship with alcohol. I’d love for you to read these and share with me where you are now:

A few things you’ve got wrong about taking a break from booze + some good news.

You read the title: Giving up alcohol for Dry January isn’t an accomplishment. I know, because I did it. Two years ago, I decided I couldn’t keep living the, work hard / play hard, mimosas made me do it, 5 o'clock somewhere, party-girl lifestyle I’d kept up for most of my 20s. It was becoming exhausting, mundane, boring, and I could sense that the lifestyle was the single most concrete habit interfering with having the career, relationships, and fulfillment in life that I deserved.

When I started to feel like drinking culture was no longer serving me a few years ago, I was admittedly resistant about being “sober” because of the social stigma I held around the label. I didn’t want to be “sober” because I didn’t want to have a “problem”. As it turns out, you don’t have to have an addiction-level “problem” with alcohol for it to be a “problem” in your life.

I’ve lived in Austin since the Fall of 2015 - it’s a vibrant city known for its funky, eclectic (and sometimes super weird) culture. The city has a little of something for everyone - especially when it comes to great restaurants and nightlife. As one of the nation's fastest growing cities, a host to two major festivals, and a frequent destination for bachelor/bachelorette parties; it isn’t too difficult to find a place to grab a good cocktail in Texas’ capital city. Finding a great spot that offers alcohol-free options that go beyond “virgin” cocktails (which is actually code for club soda and syrup) is a bit of a different story.

7 Pro Tips to Make Your Break from Booze a Success

Committing to staying sober for 30 consecutive days may seem like a lifetime - especially as your friends continue about their lives (or maybe worse, commit to Dry January and fall off the wagon a few days in!). Changing your own habits when others around you are not can be very challenging. However, I can promise - from personal experience - that completing a sober stretch will be extremely rewarding. I completed Dry January in 2017 (which inevitably led to a longer sober stretch for me personally) and have several pro tips to help you make your month without alcohol a huge success. Approaching this challenge with the right mentality and tools is the best way to set yourself up for success.

I logged into my first dating app a little over two years ago after moving to Austin, TX. At the time, I was living it up on the social scene and meeting a match out for a drink was the norm. Then, in January of 2017, I decided to do an extended period of sobriety. What went from a 30-day stint to a 90-day stint turned to a whole year. This left me with two options: go on zero dates for a year or figure out how to date sober. While I seriously considered the first option, I didn’t truly know if I’d go back to drinking after my year-long hiatus. So, I decided to choose the latter option and figure out how to date sober.

I can say, with certainty, that I lived my best life in the last year. I can also say, with full clarity, that the single most important step I took to realize that life was cutting out alcohol. Without the presence of booze I have been healthier, happier, more productive, a better friend, and a stronger person. Have I always hit the mark? No, absolutely not. I’ve had bad days and lazy days and days where I said or did the “wrong” thing. I’ve had days where I was selfish, judgmental, or rude to others. I’ve had days where I was sad, lonely, unsure, or anxious. The beauty is, I found that I was able to bounce back to a space of peace, clarity, and happiness much more quickly without the presence of alcohol.

I you read my recent post about my experience with Dry January, you'll know that I've opted to go at least 90 days into 2017 without drinking. When I set the challenge for myself, I knew full well that this would mean no drinks on my birthday. Though the idea was scary at first (and many thought I might cheat), I embraced the challenge and new way of being and prepared to celebrate my first sober birthday in over a decade. Here is how it turned out: