Why Being Alcohol-Free Is Actually An Amazing Tool For Social Distancing & Chaos

At the time I’m writing this, we’re just a few days into the recommended onset of suggested “social distancing” as a result of the Coronavirus outbreak. 

As I made my obligatory trip to the grocery store to stock up on a few supplies, I watched as people filled their carts with extra wine bottles, preparing for the possible period of isolation, I thought, “Wow, there has truly never been a better time to be sober...I’ve literally been training for this.”

So, while many are freaking out at the prospect of social distancing, I’m realizing that my alcohol-free lifestyle is going to serve as an amazing tool as we’re encouraged to practice social distancing. I’m embracing this time as a necessary mandate to look within and slow down. But, I’ve also spent the last three years doing the work to get to a point where the prospect of being mostly alone in my home isn’t frightening to me.

However, I know there are several of you who don’t yet share my same sentiment. I know that the prospect of being isolated is daunting.

The good news is that I’m here to reflect back to you the goodness that is being alcohol-free. So, whether you’re currently alcohol-free or just sober-curious, I’d love to share with you how I’m choosing to look at being alcohol-free as an absolute gift during times like these.

Social-Distancing? What, like it’s hard?

I used to be a social butterfly. I’d jump at the opportunity to be a sidekick to pretty much any social event. I always kept a really active weekend schedule, and it all revolved around drinking. When I first embarked on an alcohol-free lifestyle, it was clear that I’d have to make the tough decision to re-imagine my social life. This was an emotionally taxing activity. I had to get comfortable with shedding identity I’d taken on as a drinker in order to step into a new version of me.

That meant taking a big step back from my social life and asking some tough questions about which social engagements, interactions, and relationships were actually fulfilling to me. The reality was, I had to ask myself one simple question, “Would this activity be fun for me if I wasn’t drunk?” If the answer was, “no” it was a clear sign that I needed to pass. Inadvertently, this caused me to embark on my own self-imposed social distancing. I needed to take time to re-evaluate who I was and what I found to be fulfilling. Then, I had to work on attracting more of that into my life.

This more intentional approach to socialization certainly limited the options available to me. But, shockingly, as I began to vibrate at a different energetic frequency, I also began to attract new higher-vibe social opportunities into my life. These days, while I’m not nearly as socially active as I was as a drinker, I can assure you that my calendar still fills up quite easily.

As a result, I’m able to choose social activities that truly light me up and align with my new lifestyle. With that, I’ve learned the value of smaller, more intimate interactions. So, while others might be freaking out that their social events are getting canceled, I’m over here calmly doing my thing.

I’ve left FOMO in the past

As part of the process of re-imagining my social life, I also have to grapple with the really intense feelings of FOMO (fear of missing out). In the beginning, I fought hard to prove to everyone that I could still be cool and keep up as a non-drinker. I wanted to ensure that the invite didn’t stop rolling in...until I realized that I was no longer an energetic match for most of the activities I was trying to go to. When I had this realization, the concept of FOMO melted away. 

The reality is, there are still going to be plenty of opportunities to socialize even though social distancing has been recommended. My ability to bypass FOMO and critically evaluate social opportunities is affording me the ability to be a responsible citizen and say a big, “N-O” to activities without feeling bad.

I’m comfortable spending time alone

Before I embarked on an alcohol-free lifestyle, I used to avoid spending much time alone. While I used the excuse that I was young and social; the reality was that I was uncomfortable spending time with myself and sitting with my thoughts. The larger reality is...most of us are.

I learned quickly that one of the requirements of really embracing an alcohol-free life was to get comfortable being uncomfortable. For me (and most), that meant becoming okay sitting with myself and my emotions, experiencing boredom, and actually working through tough and uncomfortable memories when they came up (rather than numbing them out).

This was not an easy path. Most of us were not given a model to be alone. Most of us were not taught to feel our emotions. Unfortunately, most of our parents didn’t give us tools for this...and it can feel really daunting to learn the tools as a grown adult.

But I have good news, if you make it your mission to grow into the most self-expressed version of you that you can be, you will learn to hold space for yourself and your emotions (more on that below). This, my friend, will become a super-power of sorts for you. This will become what makes you a better colleague, employee, friend, lover, parent, or whatever role you take on. I promise you you’ll be better for it if you’ve learned to spend time with the most important person you know: you.

I know how to self-regulate my emotions

Part of learning to sit with your emotions is also learning to regulate them when they come up rather than use alcohol to dull them down so that you can avoid them.

Here’s the deal, emotional baggage can be heavy, and because we’ve not been taught to deal with it, it totally makes sense that we’ve taken on drinking as a coping mechanism (though, most people have no idea this is what they’re doing - working with you to find these emotions is one of my specialties, by the way).

As an alcohol-free woman, I’ve put time and intention into studying and trying on a variety of emotional regulation techniques to find what works for me...and what doesn’t.

So, while other people are self-medicating to deal with the anxiety of chaos and isolation, I’ll be over here pulling out self-regulation tools from my toolbox...just like it’s any other day.

I know how to keep myself busy

When I gave up alcohol, I found myself with a lot of time on my hands. A LOT. I was no longer managing a massive social schedule or spending (way too much) time recovering from a hangover. My mind started operating at full mental capacity all of the time and I craved for a productive way to spend that energy. I found myself lusting for new information and skills that I didn’t have time to pursue when my attention was focused on social obligations.

From my new point of view, being faced with a possible prolonged period of social distancing sounds like a great time for me to work on projects for my business and focus on self-care and personal improvement.

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I want to be forthcoming that my mindset shifts didn’t happen overnight. It’s taken me 3+ years to get to a space where I can see the gift of this situation through the chaos. I’ve been training for this and - if you’re feeling a little underprepared (maybe even craving a glass of wine to take the edge off) - I’d love to support you with the tools, mindsets, and processes I’ve put in place throughout my journey. If you’d like some additional support, remember that you can always book your first 30-minute discovery call at no charge - or schedule an hour with me if you need a little more support.