5 Reasons Being Sober By Choice Will Change Your Life
I’ve written a lot over the past three years on the topic of sobriety and why I think it’s one of the raddest things ever. It is undeniably the foundational decision that has led to every accomplishment, joy, and triumph I’ve had since.
Making the decision to remove alcohol completely from my lifestyle was not an easy one. I faced a ton of head-trash and social programming that had long convinced me to stay stuck in my patterns. If you’ve been considering giving up alcohol, you’ve probably had a similar fear-based track reeling in your head:
Who will I be as a non-drinker?
How will I have a social life if I don’t drink?
What will I do at weddings? Parties? Happy Hour? Vacation?
How will I relax after a long day? Celebrate after a big win at work?
When it comes to navigating the world alcohol-free, the struggle is absolutely real.
In case you’re new here, I’m choosing to use the phrase “Sober By Choice” in this article because I’m fortunate that sobriety wasn’t a life-or-death situation for me. I wasn’t navigating the world of physical addiction or experiencing the “rock bottoms” society has taught us is the prerequisite to quitting booze.
Yet, I was drinking more than I wanted to...and there was no clear path out. Because I wasn’t an “alcoholic” all signs said I should just keep drinking and aim for moderation. However, when the idea of moderation continued to fail me, it became clear that while this wasn’t a “life-or-death question”; it was undeniably a “mediocre life” or “extraordinary life” question. And, let me be clear, choosing to be alcohol-free in a society that is absolutely obsessed with alcohol, is a radical, brave, bold path that will absolutely change the life of anyone who chooses to take it. Here’s how:
Giving up alcohol frees up your mental space.
As a drinker (particularly one who was consciously trying to drink less), I was spending way too much mental capacity doing the following:
Drinking
Thinking about moderating:
When would I drink?
How would I ensure I didn’t over-drink?
What was a “special occasion”?
Recovering from drinking (and inevitably beating myself up for failing to moderate).
Convincing myself that I needed/deserved a drink.
Without alcohol out of the picture, I’ve freed up mental space in three key ways:
I’m no longer filling my mind with thoughts of drinking or spending time contemplating if I’ll go to an event or not. If the event is centered around booze, the answer is typically a hard, “no”. In the end, you’d be surprised with how much time this has freed up.
I generally have more time to think because I’m not spending my time partying or recovering from hangovers.
I have, overall, more mental capacity without the residual brain fog that buzzes and hangovers always caused.
Without alcohol in the picture, I feel more creative, intelligent and articulate. My brain is firing at full-capacity and it’s a good feeling.
Giving up alcohol frees up your physical time and energy.
This one is a no-brainer: when you stop wasting your time on social events that you need to get wasted to enjoy, you open yourself up to a world of possibility. I now get to choose where I devote my time and exert my energy, rather than being controlled by obligations and the fear of missing out (which I rarely experience anymore).
Furthermore, when you stop giving any time at all to the physical dysfunction of a hangover, your body starts to feel vibrant and energetic. I never thought I’d be one who enjoys waking up early, but dang - life is so beautiful and I’m glad I have time to focus on all of the things that require absolutely zero mental dilution to enjoy. Physically, I feel amazing. I sleep well, I feel strong, and I have more sustained energy.
Giving up alcohol will help you look on the bright side.
The ability to “look on the bright side” was an unexpected benefit of ditching booze. As a drinker, I wouldn’t say I was “sad”, but alcohol is a depressant after all, so I can absolutely tell you I wasn’t feeling my full range of emotions. Looking back, I was living in a constant state of “me against the world” when I was still drinking. Things never seemed to go my way. And, when they didn’t, I was mad at the world for dealing me short straws (aka: never quite taking accountability myself).
Although I was reading all the most popular self-help/inspirational books...and I never quite understood how these things could apply to my life. I’d often assume that the author was from a privileged background and that her advice was not hard-earned…“what does she know?”.
I saw the world as a cut-throat place where struggle was necessary and lack was inevitable.
These days, I have an uncanny ability to look on the bright side. I can easily find a gold nugget in an otherwise negative situation. I can self-regulate myself through a stressful incident. I can see the necessary lesson in almost every difficult situation. Though this mindset shift has required a lot of self-work, I now have a feeling...or a sense of knowing...that something/someone is watching over me and that no matter what I do; I’ll be taken care of.
Giving up alcohol will make you more resilient.
Choosing sobriety is the easy part, navigating the thoughts you were previously dulling down with alcohol is the tricky part. If you really want to thrive in an alcohol-free lifestyle, you’ve got to commit to doing a lot of mental inquiry and subconscious reprogramming. This includes re-learning how to navigate normal social situations you would have otherwise imbibed to endure and exploring parts of your subconscious where you’ve been holding onto limiting beliefs. Let me be clear that I see many people avoid this work by simply staying busy. Learning to sit with thoughts you’ve been avoiding and re-adapting to new ways of being is freaking hard work. But, if you have the courage to choose this path, you will build a sense of self-worth that is absolutely unparalleled. This, my friends, is a superpower that most people will never even have a brush with.
Giving up alcohol elevates your energetic frequency.
Ok, I went there. Get out your crystals and sage, I’m about to go woo-woo on you. Whether you're into energetics and spirituality and things of the sort, keep reading if you can agree that alcohol alters your mental frequency. Energetically - mentally, physically, spiritually - you are a different person when you drink. Alcohol is not good for your body or mind, it dilutes your energetic frequency on all levels. So, if you are consistently - be it a little each night or heavily on the weekends - diluting your energetic frequency, how can you expect to attract high-vibe awesomeness into your life? You can’t. The simple act of drinking sends a message to the Universe that says, “this is all I am a match for, this is what I choose.”
Let me tell you what, when you clean up that energetic pathway, the Universe will start showing up for you. You will be able to attract friendships, romantic partners (if you’re single), opportunities, and abundance on all levels that weren’t available to you before. It’s truly miraculous.
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Choosing to be sober (or alcohol-free as I prefer to say) in a society that is absolutely obsessed with booze is a brave choice. It’s one that honestly doesn’t cross the minds of most average people. So, just for me, try on the idea that if giving up alcohol has crossed your mind...you’re not meant to be average. You’re not meant to be a run-of-the-mill party girl or wine mom or whatever meme society has tried to sell you on. You are meant to be the most extraordinary, joyful, self-expressed version of yourself...and she’s hiding under the hazy veil that alcohol has created.
The truth of the matter is that it’s hard to make the choice to be sober when society is telling you you shouldn’t. In our world, the only path to sobriety that is presented to us is AA or “recovery”. For those who don’t meet the criteria for needing such an approach, it can seem like the only answer is to just keep drinking...that’s not true. I am here to provide options to women who are “normal” drinkers.
If that sounds like you, you can check out my existing offers and resources here. it is my mission to be a resource for high-achieving women who want to change their relationship with alcohol...I can promise you this: it will change your entire life.