I’ve written a lot over the past three years on the topic of sobriety and why I think it’s one of the raddest things ever. It is undeniably the foundational decision that has led to every accomplishment, joy, and triumph I’ve had since.

Making the decision to remove alcohol completely from my lifestyle was not an easy one. I faced a ton of head-trash and social programming that had long convinced me to stay stuck in my patterns. If you’ve been considering giving up alcohol, you’ve probably had a similar fear-based track reeling in your head:

• Who will I be as a non-drinker?

• How will I have a social life if I don’t drink?

• What will I do at weddings? Parties? Happy Hour? Vacation?

• How will I relax after a long day? Celebrate after a big win at work?

When it comes to navigating the world alcohol-free, the struggle is absolutely real.

How I Feel Being Around Drinkers As An Alcohol-Free Advocate

If you’re currently alcohol-free or on the path of sober curiosity, you’re bound to have others inquire as to how you feel about being around other people who are drinking. While I encourage you to form your own opinions and feelings on the topic, I wanted to share my perspective because it’s evolved quite a bit during my time as a non-drinker).

Here’s the short version: I don’t mind if other people drink around me. I’m not a prohibitionist and I’m not at all triggered by alcohol (I gave it up by choice and truly no longer desire it). I’m genuinely not bothered if people are drinking around me, but my opinion now has more layers than that. I have a more developed narrative of thoughts that run through my head depending on the type of drinkers and scenes I’m around. This is how I break it down:

Why What You’re Experiencing Is Completely Normal

If you are on a journey to change your relationship with alcohol, I see you and I feel you because I’ve been there too. Although now I’ve made a confident decision that drinking no longer contributes anything to my life, I remember very well my days as a sober curious woman who wished deeply I could have a take-it-or-leave-it relationship with alcohol. I remember wondering if I was the only one silently questioning my relationship with booze and experiencing awful anxiety after I drank. I wondered if people would think I had a problem if I were to quit. I sat paralyzed in indecision for quite some time before making the decision to take a break in January 2017.

During my journey to find freedom from alcohol, I’ve noted that there are four distinct stages you go through when changing your relationship with alcohol. I’d love for you to read these and share with me where you are now:

Hi, my name is Amanda and I’m not an alcoholic. In fact, back in my drinking days, I was what you would have considered a run-of-the-mill social drinker. I drank just like everyone else in my social circle: a glass of wine with dinner here or there, happy hours, social events. But, as a single, thirty-something - the social events were plentiful. There’d be dinner and drinks with friends and a round of bar hopping on Friday night followed by brunch on Saturday to recover before being productive (or at least attempting to) for a few hours and going back out Saturday night.

It’s officially summer, which means many of us are planning an adventure or relaxing getaway. Vacations are traditionally a time to cut loose, relax or explore new places and experience a new culture. For most people, this means gluttonous eating and drinking. I gave up the latter almost 18 months ago and have navigated the waters of sober vacationing many times since - and always with a travel companion (or companions) who were decidedly not sober.

Whether you’re newly alcohol-free, working through recovery, or just trying to be more mindful - getting outside of your normal routine can be a test of your commitment to sobriety. You are surrounded by messages that suggest you deserve a drink to relax or that you need to have a cocktail to be normal. Here are my tops for rocking a group vacation when you are (the only one) not drinking.

7 Pro Tips to Make Your Break from Booze a Success

Committing to staying sober for 30 consecutive days may seem like a lifetime - especially as your friends continue about their lives (or maybe worse, commit to Dry January and fall off the wagon a few days in!). Changing your own habits when others around you are not can be very challenging. However, I can promise - from personal experience - that completing a sober stretch will be extremely rewarding. I completed Dry January in 2017 (which inevitably led to a longer sober stretch for me personally) and have several pro tips to help you make your month without alcohol a huge success. Approaching this challenge with the right mentality and tools is the best way to set yourself up for success.

The Art of Loving Where You Are - Especially During the Holidays

The holidays are traditionally a time for reminiscing. As the year winds to a close, we are tempted to reflect back on our past and contemplate our future rather than living in the present. Though purposeful reflection and visualization can be completely productive exercises, this is not typically the tone of what is happening in our own headspace. Rather, we replay situations, reminisce about past relationships, dig up old wounds, or dream of what is to come. While reflection and visualization are meditative states, the alternative is the groundwork for mental chaos.

I logged into my first dating app a little over two years ago after moving to Austin, TX. At the time, I was living it up on the social scene and meeting a match out for a drink was the norm. Then, in January of 2017, I decided to do an extended period of sobriety. What went from a 30-day stint to a 90-day stint turned to a whole year. This left me with two options: go on zero dates for a year or figure out how to date sober. While I seriously considered the first option, I didn’t truly know if I’d go back to drinking after my year-long hiatus. So, I decided to choose the latter option and figure out how to date sober.

I you read my recent post about my experience with Dry January, you'll know that I've opted to go at least 90 days into 2017 without drinking. When I set the challenge for myself, I knew full well that this would mean no drinks on my birthday. Though the idea was scary at first (and many thought I might cheat), I embraced the challenge and new way of being and prepared to celebrate my first sober birthday in over a decade. Here is how it turned out: