“Alcohol doesn’t make things more interesting; it makes your mind stupid so that things that would otherwise have bored it are suddenly enough to occupy it.”

How I Feel Being Around Drinkers As An Alcohol-Free Advocate

If you’re currently alcohol-free or on the path of sober curiosity, you’re bound to have others inquire as to how you feel about being around other people who are drinking. While I encourage you to form your own opinions and feelings on the topic, I wanted to share my perspective because it’s evolved quite a bit during my time as a non-drinker).

Here’s the short version: I don’t mind if other people drink around me. I’m not a prohibitionist and I’m not at all triggered by alcohol (I gave it up by choice and truly no longer desire it). I’m genuinely not bothered if people are drinking around me, but my opinion now has more layers than that. I have a more developed narrative of thoughts that run through my head depending on the type of drinkers and scenes I’m around. This is how I break it down:

How a Breakup with Booze & Boys Helped Me To Truly Love Myself

I walked into the dimly-lit theater and apprehensively took my seat. At 31, this was the first time I’d ever treated myself to a movie solo. My thirty-first year would be full of many firsts. This was my first of many dates with myself.

The catalyst behind this newfound relationship with little old me was born out of necessity. It was only a few months before that I’d made the decision to take a break from alcohol. A “party girl” in my 20s, I’d had a sudden sense that my life might be better without it. So, as terrified as I was to navigate the world without a substance that had given me the confidence to date in the first place, I listened to my intuition and broke up with booze.

Little did I know that eliminating alcohol from my life would fuel one of the most intense and important periods of personal growth I’m sure I will experience in my lifetime.

In my last post, I wrote about how saying “no” to others is really saying “yes” to ourselves. But knowing when to say “no” and knowing how to say it are difficult - especially when someone puts you on the spot or is relentless in their request. Saying “no” in these situations can make us feel uncomfortable, uncaring, disinterested. But “no” is really none of those things; it’s simply a boundary we set that says, “this isn’t for me”. Personally, I find that practicing how to best say “no” is a valuable way to prepare me to do it gracefully when needed. I feel like I’ve finessed this process during my 9-5 and am able to confidently and kindly decline sales calls and offers kindly (even when they're rather persistent)...but I realized recently that I hadn't fully transferred this skill over to my personal life. When I thought about it, the tactics I use to say "no" in my professional life translate rather well to personal situations as well. Here are my best tips for helping yourself to say “no” gracefully:

My name is Amanda and I am a recovering people pleaser“yes” person, and be everywhere / do everything gal. Saying “no” makes me feel kind of uncomfortable. Case in point: I recently made the conscious choice to say “no” to a seemingly simple request. Saying “yes” would have been the easy, people-pleaser thing to do, but I’ve been working really hard to become protective of my time and, based on my own criteria, the request was a “no”.

Since I’m (always) being honest, I’ll admit that I didn’t handle the “no” very gracefully...I felt compelled to explain myself and when the other person wouldn’t take “no” for an answer... I snapped (eek). Losing my cool is a sure sign that I have some reflection to do (I know, I know; we’re all human, but I am human who has gotten freaking good at self-reflection and unpacking things that disrupt my good vibes).

Hopefully this is no surprise to you, but our bodies are full of energy. Whether you’re familiar with chi, chakras, auras, meridians, or some other “life force” energy; the common consensus is that this energy flows through all beings in order to maintain health and wellness in mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual capacities.

Just as we have our own energy, we exchange energy with one another when we engage in relationships.

Cutting the Cord on Technology and Focusing on Real Life Connections

I was talking with one of my closest friends the other day about how she was struggling to form real connections and friendships after a recent move. She’d been trying to double dip and start friendships with ladies in her industry; which wasn’t working out. She also shared how she was a member of several local industry groups on Facebook, but wanted to leave them because they took up too much time, were full of drama, and weren’t helping her to develop any real life friendships. In fact, if anything, the online scene was creating a false sense of camaraderie with some...and discouraging her from ever wanting to associate with others.