The Truth About How Boring Life Is Without Booze

I used to believe the lie that life would be boring if I didn’t drink. That I would be boring when I went out to events and gatherings. That I would be bored and suffer through situations if I wasn’t properly lubricated with alcohol.

In a sense, I was right. But, if you’ve ever believed this myth, I want to dispel it for you once and for all. Life is not boring. You are not boring. You are actually quite brilliant and capable and meant to express these qualities frequently. But, if you’ve convinced yourself that life will be boring without alcohol, let me share with you a secret: it’s not you, it’s booze.

Yes, you see, alcohol has you fooled. Alcohol has convinced you to settle for situations, conversations, and people that are...well, boring. And, you’ve found that you can dilute your senses in order to tolerate these boring, dull situations. Harsh. I know.

Perhaps the best representation I’ve ever heard of this theory is by William Porter in his book, Alcohol Explained, “Alcohol doesn’t make things more interesting; it makes your mind stupid so that things that would otherwise have bored it are suddenly enough to occupy it.”

Wow. Now, I want to expound upon this thought, because - if you’re like me - you probably hold on to just a bit of fear that your life will be dull if you decide to take a break from alcohol...or quit drinking forever. 

But, what if boredom was a signal…and we’ve just been taking the wrong action? What if we’ve been stifling our fear of boredom with alcohol rather than embracing boredom for what it is.

Let me assume, that - since you’re reading this right now - you have been stricken with some desire to massively change your relationship with alcohol. It is my experience and belief that we do not receive this internal desire idly. It’s not some crazy thought that pops into our head for no reason whatsoever. 

Rather, if you’ve received even a subtle whisper from your inner guide that it’s time to change your relationship with alcohol: it is. Take it from me, your inner guide doesn’t whisper cues to you at random. No, she speaks up with purpose...and if you don’t listen to her whisper, rest assured it will become a very loud roar.

So, if you’ve heard this whisper, let’s make the assumption that you perhaps drink more than you’d like (or have in the past). What if your desire to hide form boredom is something else entirely? Let’s look at some of the more specific reasons your soul might be calling you to explore a more mindful or abstinent relationship with alcohol.

Alcohol makes dull situations less so...and our brain craves stimulation. Although I can tolerate it every once in awhile, going out to a bar/club or boozy event sober has little appeal to me now. Why? It’s not because I’m not fun or incapable of having fun. No, it’s because the situation is no fun. Partially because of the state of the other participants (see my next point), but also because your brain craves stimulation and it’s unlikely you’ll get it in most boozy social situations. The noise, the hustle and bustle; they all prevent you being able to actually have a meaningful conversation with anyone. After a while, your brain gets tired of small talk. This is not to say that you need to stay home and do mind-puzzles all weekend. Rather, it’s likely that you’re craving more one-on-one intimate human connection and the ability to think and be productive through the weekend.

Alcohol makes your friends stupid...and we’re wired for genuine, fulfilling human connection. We all use alcohol to numb some part of us that we’re unwilling to deal with. Under the guise of just wanting to have fun, clearing our mind, or relaxing, there is almost always a facet of ourselves that we do not want to spend time with. For that reason, we tend to choose the most socially acceptable short cut to turning off our brain: alcohol.

Your friends might be perfectly delightful, intelligent, well-meaning individuals. But, consider for a moment the true fulfillment and connection you receive during a night out on the town. Are you able to and allowed to talk with your friends about anything with meaning? More likely, you gab about superficial topics. This is not true connection. This is not a display of vulnerability or intimacy. Because, how could you be truly vulnerable or intimate if you’ve taken active steps to silence parts of your brain? Consider, momentarily, that you have become dissatisfied with these false attempts at connection.

Alcohol makes you stupid and lazy...and your potential is aching to get out. Perhaps the dissatisfaction you’ve been feeling also has something to do with the fact that, no matter how little or how much; how often or infrequently you drink, alcohol is making you stupid and lazy.

Imagine all of the things you’ve dreamed you might do with your life. The accomplishments you might make, the ways in which you might live, the way you will feel. Perhaps you’ve managed to use your will power and discipline to muscle through and achieve many of them. This is usually the case with most of the women I work with; they perform so well with alcohol in the picture, they’ve justified that they should keep it there.

But, what if your mind and heart are yearning for something more? What if they know that - despite all you’ve managed to accomplish - you still have bigger, more important work to do? Would it not make sense that you’ve started to become increasingly anxious about your drinking and dissatisfied with the results?

You see, not only has alcohol made you mentally less-sharp, but it’s also caused you to choose mindless activities more often because that’s all your brain can handle.

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If you’ve been harboring the fear that you’ll be boring or bored without alcohol in your life, consider the possibility that your inner guide has challenged you to recognize your own potential. That her whisper for you to change your relationship with alcohol is so much more than that. Consider that she is calling you to seek out more fulfilling connections with others and spend your time and brilliance pursuing the goals that you’ve buried for “someday”. Consider that the fact that your hangovers have started to come with a massive side of anxiety a sign that your heart is becoming dissatisfied with the current status of your life and is urging you to claim your greatness.

If this resonates with you and you’d like to commit to taking the next step to explore your greatness, applications for my intermediate group coaching program, Alcohol-Free(dom) are open now. This is an intimate small-group setting where we’ll go beyond “counting days” and navigating the world alcohol-free and actually work to unearth the limiting beliefs that have kept you stuck in the detox/retox cycle for so long. In this program, I’ll work with you to help re-build your sense of self-worth to the point that you’re comfortable without alcohol in your life at all.