“Alcohol doesn’t make things more interesting; it makes your mind stupid so that things that would otherwise have bored it are suddenly enough to occupy it.”

How a Breakup with Booze & Boys Helped Me To Truly Love Myself

I walked into the dimly-lit theater and apprehensively took my seat. At 31, this was the first time I’d ever treated myself to a movie solo. My thirty-first year would be full of many firsts. This was my first of many dates with myself.

The catalyst behind this newfound relationship with little old me was born out of necessity. It was only a few months before that I’d made the decision to take a break from alcohol. A “party girl” in my 20s, I’d had a sudden sense that my life might be better without it. So, as terrified as I was to navigate the world without a substance that had given me the confidence to date in the first place, I listened to my intuition and broke up with booze.

Little did I know that eliminating alcohol from my life would fuel one of the most intense and important periods of personal growth I’m sure I will experience in my lifetime.

My name is Amanda and I am a recovering people pleaser“yes” person, and be everywhere / do everything gal. Saying “no” makes me feel kind of uncomfortable. Case in point: I recently made the conscious choice to say “no” to a seemingly simple request. Saying “yes” would have been the easy, people-pleaser thing to do, but I’ve been working really hard to become protective of my time and, based on my own criteria, the request was a “no”.

Since I’m (always) being honest, I’ll admit that I didn’t handle the “no” very gracefully...I felt compelled to explain myself and when the other person wouldn’t take “no” for an answer... I snapped (eek). Losing my cool is a sure sign that I have some reflection to do (I know, I know; we’re all human, but I am human who has gotten freaking good at self-reflection and unpacking things that disrupt my good vibes).

I found myself holding space recently for a friend who was going through a confusing time in a romantic relationship which she felt might be coming to an end. I felt deep compassion for her because I’d been where she was; sitting in a gray area of uncertainty and anxiety…

What I wished for my friend (and what I wish for anyone going through a similar situation) is that she would come to know these four important truths about relationships:

How to make the most of the single life & prepare yourself for the relationship you want. 

I can attest that as I've become more intentional with how I spend my time as a single gal, I've become more understanding and aware of why this time exists. To say I'm grateful would be an understatement. My singleness has provided me with tremendous opportunities for personal growth; I've accepted them all as graciously as possible. I know, with certainty that this time has made me a stronger individual and prepared me to be more present in all areas of life; especially to be a better partner. As a result, I know I have a lot to give and will add value to all relationships - romantic or not - and I seek for the same in others.

...And Why I Wonder If They’re Changing Modern Dating For the Worst

Last week, I deleted all dating apps off of my phone...this isn’t the first time. It isn’t that I’m not interested in dating or finding “the one,” I simply couldn’t commit to the dating lifestyle that I felt dating apps encourage or the energy-investment they required. I’ll begin by saying, I think I have one of the most optimistic outlooks on life out of anyone you might meet. For the most part, I approach life from a glass half full, sunshine and rainbows, anything is possible, the Universe is working in your favor point of view. But, I’ve also committed to cutting out or minimizing behaviors, habits, and relationships that don’t contribute to the positive-energy, high-vibe, mindful lifestyle I strive to live.